If you're a new Mom or Dad, perhaps you've begun to feel like you'll turn into the Grinch if you hear one more sleigh bell ringing. For new families, the holidays mean not only keeping up with all of the celebrations and holiday festivities that your family and friends want to include you in, but also the round-the-clock parenting that your new precious baby demands. As a young parent, you may be feeling pulled between what you want to do and what your body and mind tells you that you're capable of. Surviving the holidays as a new parent is a bit easier if you learn to strategize your time and efforts. Here's some tips to help you get started managing your new family for the holiday season:
Let go of the picture on the front of the Christmas card. We've all received them in the mail: the Christmas card depicting Mom, Dad, kids, and dog all snuggled in front of the fireplace while a plate of fresh cookies cools on the table. Whether you were brought up in a family of no-holds-barred Christmas celebrators or just want to be the family that has the perfect holiday, you might need to let go of the illusion of everything going perfectly - you'll just set yourself up for failure. Where will you find time to bake those cookies and hang those lights? Certainly not in between diapering and feeding your new precious bundle while attempting to score a few moments of sleep if Dad handles diaper duty. You'll no doubt have many Christmases in the future - don't overdo yourself during the holiday and miss out on all the fun of being a new Mom or Dad.
Learn to say no, and don't feel guilty about saying it. The holidays are notoriously synonymous with outings with friends and family. In a land called Perfect, you would still have the time and energy to do all of the things your family and close circle is accustomed to having you do or participate in, but chances are you are already overwhelmed with the rigors of adjusting to parenthood. You may have been going from just the two of you to a threesome, or you may have other children and the new baby is an adjustment to all of you. Either way, it's going to take time to make the adjustments and feel comfortable with your new family unit.
Let your baby be your guide. Most babies need to have the routine and quiet that is never to be found at holiday gatherings. If your baby's temperament is such that he or she doesn't seem to care for the constant commotion of the holidays, then consider leaving an event early, or simply not attending.
Open the lines of communication with your partner. It's so important that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to your holiday celebrations (or lack of) during this special time when your family is getting adjusted to a new baby. Let your partner know how you feel, and take your partner's feelings into consideration. Try to incorporate a bit of what each of you want for this holiday so that each feels satisfied.
Make a list of everything you need to do, separated into three categories - Musts, Shoulds, and Wants. In the Musts category, list everything that you absolutely must do (there is no way of getting around it); the Should category is where you list things that you feel pressured to do, but don't necessarily want to do; and the Want category is where you list the things you actually want to do. Pay close attention to the Wants category - it is important that you allow yourself to do some of the Wants for the holidays.
Decorate without added worry for baby's safety. You have enough anxiety on your plate this year, so alleviating the small worries is one way to reduce your overall level of stress. I remember coping with possibly dangerous holiday decor during my baby's early days. One year, I ended up putting the tree inside my baby's playpen, instead of her. I put all of the gifts inside there, which looked so silly, but it was a workable solution. I wasn't willing to go without my beloved tree. I needed to keep her safe. This was a way to do it and I was really glad. We only needed to do that for one year.
Shop till you drop in cyberspace. Online shopping is a perfect way for new Moms and Dads to get their holiday wish lists completely filled, delivered to the door, and even wrapped (if they choose) without setting foot outside the house. Avoid the crowded, push and shove Christmas shopping crowd and order the gifts you need with a click of the mouse.
Practice the art of light-duty hosting. Having a family get-together can be as simple as having everyone bring their favorite or most-requested dish to accompany a pre-cooked ham or turkey that you've purchased. Add a few pies from the deli down the street and you have a full meal, minus the time-consuming prep time. Clean up is as simple as 1-2-3 when you also furnish paper plates, cups, and utensils. This light duty-hosting is popular among new parents who don't have the energy or time to cook a gourmet holiday feast.
Give yourself some "me-time". It's important for new parents to schedule a few minutes each day for themselves, whether it's catching up on your favorite novel or luxuriating in a tub full of bubbles. You can take care of baby's needs more efficiently if you take time to let yourself feel like a human again (even if just for a precious half hour).
Let go of the picture on the front of the Christmas card. We've all received them in the mail: the Christmas card depicting Mom, Dad, kids, and dog all snuggled in front of the fireplace while a plate of fresh cookies cools on the table. Whether you were brought up in a family of no-holds-barred Christmas celebrators or just want to be the family that has the perfect holiday, you might need to let go of the illusion of everything going perfectly - you'll just set yourself up for failure. Where will you find time to bake those cookies and hang those lights? Certainly not in between diapering and feeding your new precious bundle while attempting to score a few moments of sleep if Dad handles diaper duty. You'll no doubt have many Christmases in the future - don't overdo yourself during the holiday and miss out on all the fun of being a new Mom or Dad.
Learn to say no, and don't feel guilty about saying it. The holidays are notoriously synonymous with outings with friends and family. In a land called Perfect, you would still have the time and energy to do all of the things your family and close circle is accustomed to having you do or participate in, but chances are you are already overwhelmed with the rigors of adjusting to parenthood. You may have been going from just the two of you to a threesome, or you may have other children and the new baby is an adjustment to all of you. Either way, it's going to take time to make the adjustments and feel comfortable with your new family unit.
Let your baby be your guide. Most babies need to have the routine and quiet that is never to be found at holiday gatherings. If your baby's temperament is such that he or she doesn't seem to care for the constant commotion of the holidays, then consider leaving an event early, or simply not attending.
Open the lines of communication with your partner. It's so important that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to your holiday celebrations (or lack of) during this special time when your family is getting adjusted to a new baby. Let your partner know how you feel, and take your partner's feelings into consideration. Try to incorporate a bit of what each of you want for this holiday so that each feels satisfied.
Make a list of everything you need to do, separated into three categories - Musts, Shoulds, and Wants. In the Musts category, list everything that you absolutely must do (there is no way of getting around it); the Should category is where you list things that you feel pressured to do, but don't necessarily want to do; and the Want category is where you list the things you actually want to do. Pay close attention to the Wants category - it is important that you allow yourself to do some of the Wants for the holidays.
Decorate without added worry for baby's safety. You have enough anxiety on your plate this year, so alleviating the small worries is one way to reduce your overall level of stress. I remember coping with possibly dangerous holiday decor during my baby's early days. One year, I ended up putting the tree inside my baby's playpen, instead of her. I put all of the gifts inside there, which looked so silly, but it was a workable solution. I wasn't willing to go without my beloved tree. I needed to keep her safe. This was a way to do it and I was really glad. We only needed to do that for one year.
Shop till you drop in cyberspace. Online shopping is a perfect way for new Moms and Dads to get their holiday wish lists completely filled, delivered to the door, and even wrapped (if they choose) without setting foot outside the house. Avoid the crowded, push and shove Christmas shopping crowd and order the gifts you need with a click of the mouse.
Practice the art of light-duty hosting. Having a family get-together can be as simple as having everyone bring their favorite or most-requested dish to accompany a pre-cooked ham or turkey that you've purchased. Add a few pies from the deli down the street and you have a full meal, minus the time-consuming prep time. Clean up is as simple as 1-2-3 when you also furnish paper plates, cups, and utensils. This light duty-hosting is popular among new parents who don't have the energy or time to cook a gourmet holiday feast.
Give yourself some "me-time". It's important for new parents to schedule a few minutes each day for themselves, whether it's catching up on your favorite novel or luxuriating in a tub full of bubbles. You can take care of baby's needs more efficiently if you take time to let yourself feel like a human again (even if just for a precious half hour).
About the Author:
Overwhelmed new parent? Christy Cuellar-Wentz, M.A. can help. As an internet talk radio host and mental health professional, she is passionate about providing the support you need for your journey into motherhood. Sign up for free, weekly MP3 downloads and other resources for new moms and empower your life with information on postpartum survival strategies at the Mommy-Muse website and blog.
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